Still getting attached

Yep that's me by a palm tree and a pond in the desert, ok it's not really in the desert, it's in Scottsdale/Phoenix area. It's a little park called Papago Park that we have visited quite often. It's a nice little oasis. This has been a long week, just really busy at work. I'm finally allowing myself a few days off to relax. I've been taking care of this patient off and on for the last month, and he finally got to go home yesterday. He was flown from a small town north of Phoenix with bilateral collapsed lungs, and has had chest tubes ever since. The diagnosis came back, and it was not a good one. Mesothelioma, that's my second patient this month with the same diagnosis, both worked construction. I lost my own father to lung cancer so it hits me pretty hard sometime to take care of these guys. So, this guy really wanted to go home as you can imagine, I mean his wife and daughter were here but he just wanted to be home. Good Sam hospital has a floor of rooms that families can rent so they can be in the building to visit the patient whenever they are needed. It's really nice for the patient and the family, especially when they live so far away. Unfortunately, the small hospital that he is going to cannot do any type of extensive surgery if it's needed or anything like that. He had to agree to be a DNR in order to go back home. Isn't that sad? I mean this guy is far from the edge he still gets up every morning and shaves and reads the paper, aside from the chest tubes to constant wall suction, he's what we refer to as a walky talky. I would go in every morning and say hello even when he wasn't my patient for the day. Yesterday we shared a tear when he told me about the conditions of his return to home. He was funny and cranky and made me smile and I think he looked forward to seeing me. It's nice to make that connection with your patients and their families. I know we are not supposed to get attached, but sometimes I can't help it. It may take a little out of me when they go but, if it makes their stay more comfortable, what's the harm? Death and terminal illnesses are not some of my favorite subjects. (Much like trachs and colostomies.) But , they have been a major part of my career. Of course, I think death is as much mental as it is physical. I had a patient quite recently that I helped take out to his car in a wheelchair, he got up into the car and petted his dog who was waiting in the car, he died the next day in his home. I guess he was ready. When you have a terminal illness, a lot of times it's a matter of being comfortable with the situation that makes it ok for you to go. I believe we have some control over it...anyway...on to better subjects.
The weather here has been warm about 100 still and, you guessed it, sunny. It should be cooling down soon...either way it's not going to be cold anytime soon. And, that makes me very happy, coming from Cleveland I have had more that enough cold to last a really,really,really long time. Well, remember first do no harm.